I have no idea from one week to the next, one month to the next, one day to the next how much money I will bring in. No idea. I can guess. I can plot trends. I can assume. I can pray. But really I have no idea. I may expect nothing and randomly bring in $1000 or more in a couple of days. It’s very nice when that happens, but the opposite often happens too and that’s certainly not as cool.
I no longer get my hopes up when someone says they’re going to call me for pictures. I no longer take it seriously when someone says they’ll be getting that order to me tomorrow. I no longer get giddy when someone tells me I am the perfect person for their wedding…but they just need to check with their fiance first. I just smile, nod, and hope for the best.
Sometimes I think it might be nice to go to a job, do the job, come home, and know that I’ll be getting a predictable paycheck on a predictable day. It would certainly be easier to plan for things. But for the most part I just still can’t believe that I actually get paid to photograph people. I’m able to stay home with my children. I’m able to make my own schedule and be my own boss. I’m able to take vacation whenever I want to. I can work in my pajamas.
I’m having a “let the chips fall where they may” kind of day…week…month. There are an abundance of potentially great opportunities for me right now. Potentially great or potentially nothing. Let the chips fall where they may. Because no matter which way they fall I’ll continue to do what I love to do. I’ll continue to shake my head in disbelief that I get to do it at all. I’ll continue to learn, grow, hone my craft. I’ll never quit doing this as long as God allows me to do it.
Tonight I’m going to bed with several things still up in the air. They’ll either be carried off in the wind or fall in my lap. I have no way of knowing what tomorrow might bring. And that’s more exciting than a predictable paycheck any day.
