I’m pretty sure this blog has taken the place of therapy and/or counseling over the years. Readers, I hope you don’t mind. That said….
I had another pregnancy dream last night. I hate when I have those. They don’t happen too terribly often, maybe once every couple months or so that I recall. It’s like in the dream I just found out I’m pregnant again and I am flooded with all those same emotions I had back when I was. The dreams seem so real and they are very upsetting to me. It usually takes me a couple of days to kind of get it out of my mind.
I also have dreams from time to time that we have a new baby. Those dreams are sweet and soothing and maybe a little healing. Sometimes it makes me feel like I get to hold Evan or one of the other babies in my dreams. Cheesy, I know.
Sorry, but this is therapeutic.
You would think that after 3 years or something like that since the last pregnancy, I would be “over” it. And I think mostly I am, whatever that means. But when I have these dreams and they are so emotional for me it makes me think that maybe I just buried all of it. But you just have to do what you have to do to survive. Even now, years later, I cry for those babies sometimes. I think I will cry for those babies as long as I live.
Okay, I’ll get off your couch now. Mail me a bill.