Do you keep your house spotless at all times? Is your vehicle free of crackers or bits of paper or empty cups? Do all of your bath towels coordinate and fit perfectly in the cabinets? Is your liquid dish soap free of that goop that accumulates when you don’t wipe it off? Are all of your trashcans clean on the inside like they day they were purchased? Are your cookbooks alphabetized for goodness sake??? If this describes you, I might love you. Heck, I might even like you. But I’m sorry to say that this Not Me Monday post is not for you.
It’s for all of you who wipe your kids noses on the bottom of your shirt and then take it a step further by wearing that same shirt two days in a row just for spite. It’s for those of who couldn’t say when your office room fan was dusted if your life depended on it. It’s for those of you who despite your best efforts just keep forgetting to throw away that lettuce at the bottom of your fridge that’s from last week’s (or was that two weeks ago?) taco dinner! IT’S FOR YOU!! Liberate yourselves! Do not be ashamed to admit your “flaws.”
I don’t keep waiting for someone else to clean the bathroom. It hasn’t gotten just a tiny bit untidy! If we were to have unexpected company I wouldn’t be freaking out trying to clean it at lighting speed. Promise. The four of us keep our ONE ugly bathroom spotless at all times. There’s never somebody’s underwear on the floor at any given moment and/or trash that needs to go out and/or toothpaste stuck to the sink and/or any empty toilet paper roll or two on the window sill. We don’t do that. You come over any time and pee to your hearts content! (But you should really call at least 30 minutes in advance.)
Speaking of underwear, I didn’t clean up some spilled (intentionally poured out) orange juice today with a random pair of underwear that just happened to be laying on the floor nearby. I didn’t do that first of all because my son doesn’t intentionally pour orange juice on the floor because he likes the way it looks. And my boys also DO NOT leave pairs of underwears here and there around the house. That’s probably unsanitary. We’re very sanitary.
I didn’t spend too much time writing our return address on 50 Christmas card envelopes only to receive our ANNUAL name and address stickers from State Farm the very next day. Why would I address envelopes like 2 weeks before I even intend to mail them knowing that we always get those stickers? Why would I do that? I don’t know but knowing me it probably wasn’t to avoid doing something less appealing than writing our names and address 50 times! IN CURSIVE! Not me!
I DID NOT end up being way too gassy on Thanksgiving day! No way! Okay, enough on that subject.
Okay well, I’m sure there’s probably NOT more but it’s 12:30 a.m. and I need to get to bed. So this is probably the earliest Not Me! Monday post I’ve done so far. But it is technically Monday.