The bug has hit me again and I’m really trying to get rid of it. It came upon me about a year or so ago and then kind of went away but I’m afraid it’s back. I try to ignore it or deny it or shoo it away but it keeps returning. What bug am I talking about? The baby bug.
And Phillip (and others, I’m sure) think I’ve officially lost my mind. And maybe I have.
It’s been worse lately. I’m not sure why. Maybe it’s because some friends of mine are expecting. Maybe it’s because I’ve been fortunate enough to photograph babies and expectant mothers. Maybe it’s because Mikey is turning three on Saturday. Maybe it’s because I’m reading about other families adopting new babies into their homes. I don’t know. But I do know that I have the ache. And I really do wish it would go away. I’ve been a bit more sad lately because of it. Most women can just “get on the good foot and do the bad thing” and voila… BABY! But we can’t. It’s a lot more complicated and risky for us to add another baby to our family. And it’s not something that can happen by accident like many pregnancies do. We would be looking at a long adoption process with many unknowns.
Phillip is much more grounded and reasonable than I am. He thinks about space and car seats and college and sanity and quiet and dirty diapers. I think of little feet and how they smell after a bath and the anticipation of seeing that new little face. He thinks two is enough. I think the more, the merrier. So needless to say, we’re not on the same page. We’re not even in the same book. He’s not wrong and I’m not wrong. And we are not at odds.
But maybe I do need to get my head examined.