So I’m a bad mom. Well, I’m not exactly a bad mom but I have moments where I do bad things as a mom. That sounds a little nicer. Today I did a bad thing.
I left Jack at home for about 5 minutes while I ran pictures to someone’s house. That’s not the bad thing. He’s almost 8 and I think he can be at home alone for VERY brief amounts of time periodically. Before I left I told him not to let anybody in and I locked the door. When I got home I unlocked the door and tossed my keys on the table. And…here comes the bad mom part. I don’t know why or what possessed me to do such a thing but I said “Hello?” in a deep manish kind of voice. He was in our room so he couldn’t see me but I thought he would know it was me. He’s heard me say and do enough weird things in his life that it really didn’t cross my mind that he wouldn’t know it was me.
Well, I walked into the room where he was and he was sitting there PETRIFIED with tears in his eyes. He thought some strange man came into the house. He was scared to death. I felt so horrible!! I knelt next to him and hugged him and rocked him and said I was sorry over and over again. We were both almost crying. It was terrible. Poor sweet baby.
If my kids don’t learn anything else from me, they will at least learn to say they’re sorry. But I really hope they learn more from me than just that. Ughh…there are so many times that I wish I could have a do-over.
And I tell myself this daily… they will survive my inadequacies… they will survive my inadequacies… they will survive.