So I haven’t Not Me Mondayed in a really long time. I meant to yesterday but yesterday was kind of a crazy day that I didn’t “handle” so well. It was Phillip’s first day back and we all went through a bit of withdrawal.
That being said, have you ever used your kids’ underwear to clean up a spill? Embarrassed because you ate potato chips for dinner? Proud of your kid for trying and failing miserably to wipe his own bottom? Yeah, me either. And that’s what “Not me Monday” is all about…plausible deniability.
Alrighty, I did not try to send myself an e-mail only to realize later that it went to a friend of mine who happens to have the same first and last initials. I didn’t do that because I don’t send e-mails to myself all the time to help me remember things. My brain is like a steel trap. Writing things down and e-mailing them to yourself is only for the feeble minded.
I also most certainly did not find a $20 bill in our toilet yesterday that the beautiful mischievous child put in there. I didn’t then take it out and wash it off with soap and then try to get it out of my house with the babysitter. The babysitter didn’t opt for a check rather than taking the toilet twenty. Nope, not me.
We haven’t started washing Mikey’s mouth out with soap at least twice a day for saying “bad words.” Nope, not us. Not our angel child. He’s perfect and requires little to no discipline. He hasn’t gotten so used to having his mouth washed out with soap that today he just decided to do it himself so he could be in charge of the situation. Um…no. And I definitely DO NOT kind of enjoy putting soap on his tongue. I don’t almost laugh every time I do it because it’s just so funny! That’s terrible! And while I’m on the subject, Mikey has not gotten his mouth washed out for saying “crazy jerk” which he DID NOT learn from me.