Last night was tough. While I was at Target with the boys I got a call about a family at our local hospital who wanted pictures of their little one. Those aren’t happy calls. I never look forward to getting those calls. I went to the hospital about an hour later after the baby was born. Last night’s session was the first time that I have cried while with the family.
Being in that room surrounded by a family brought together and torn apart for the love of a baby was just a bit too familiar. Brokenhearted grandparents, hugs where people hang on, a big brother still too little to understand…just all too familiar. And it was tough. I couldn’t help feeling like an intruder on this family’s precious time together. I was overwhelmed by the feeling of just…Holiness. The presence of God was thick in the room and I’m sure everyone there must have felt it. I didn’t want to disrupt it or interrupt it with my presence and my camera but I knew that some of those moments had to be captured. Their sadness and love for this child is, in a way, his legacy and his impact on this world. And he deserves to have his impact seen. The world outside that little room carried on unaware. Unaware of his life and unaware of his death.
So I took the pictures that I wish I had of the moments with our son. And I hope that I was able to capture a glimpse of the presence of God in the room. And while last night was tough for me, I got to walk away. I got to pack up my stuff and go back home to my sleeping boys. But this family doesn’t get to walk away from this. They will carry yesterday with them for the rest of their lives. They will feel pain deeper than most people can imagine. And they might have moments where they feel completely abandoned by the One whose presence enveloped us all in that room last night.